So long, farewell

I just had a bloody long final (hence the pun above geddit geddit? hur hur) and now I'm freeee! I wonder why no one else is ecstatically blogging about finishing their exams and graduating.

Here are my conjectures:

In one group:
Joo: Graduated long ago
Liyang: Graduated long long ago
Koo: Too long to graduation
Jing: Still a while till second graduation
Josh: A little more to go
Kennard: Just got married

In the recent graduates group:
Nigel: Sex
Senthil: Sex
Keith: Shanghai

Hence, here I am, sexless and Shanghailess and blogging:

Sparked by the mention of sex(lessness), I will now offer a long overdue dose of OOPness.

In the baseball theory of sexual advancement the bases are roughly as follows:

1st Base: Kissing

2nd Base: Petting

3rd Base: Oral

Home : Sexual intercourse

Now as we were once all legit ball players, we can further the analogy:

Strike out: Well, kinda self-explanatory. Nelson would get pissed.

Force out at one: While generally having the same effect as a strike out, sometimes it's really not the batter's fault. A line drive could be caught be the diving SS. It rains. She has a boyfriend (Hmm then again, if someone's already occupying 1st base, it might increase your chances of getting on base on fielder's choice --> slut alert). Shit happens.

Stealing bases: The rewards get higher as you progress, as do the consequences and difficulty. Stealing to two? Well, you have a legit chance of getting safe and most people wouldn't fault you. Making an ill-judged attempt to steal home? And giving up a scoring position? Nelson would be apoplectic.

Hot Box: You try to advance, you retreat, you advance again. She gets pissed. You are out!

Notice that the horniness/sluttiness of the girl is in direct proportional to the weakness of the defense. Hotbox with a weak team? You're almost always safe.

Now, what happens when you make a wonderful hit, you round all the bases, you pass home but the empire calls you out. Why? Because you didn't step on the plate. A spectacular play ends in derision. What sex act is a matter of inches from the actual thing? I would have to say anal sex.

Please be careful Chieh.