k00nard0's situation

Hi Balls,

Finally, I have completed my 6 cycles of R-CHOP and MTX treatment. By rights, I should be saying a huge w00sh. The last 2 cycles have left me feeling damn shi man... kena nausea, headchae, tiredness gaogao. Not to mention constipation, which led to the recurrence of my anal fissure zzz. Now shit got bloodbath and pilez... fucking orgasmic man. Sigh, wonder when I can shit without any pain man. Mood and spirits also feel dam fucked up. I am also kinda worried that I would not be able to get my normal health back, coz I dunno how much damage the chemo has done to my body.

My doctor has scheduled me for brain and chest radiotherapy for December, in order to prevent the disease from relapsing in future. The rt doctor seems dam worried sia... he keeps telling us about the negative side effects and stuff like that, until like it may be worse than chemotherapy. And the funny thing is, there is still no conclusion on what exactly is in my brain. Some doctors say its B-cells, some say its inflammation, while some say its B-cells mutated into T-cells. Despite having done a biopsy, the report still says the conclusion is still debatable. -_- So its like...what if there's nothing in the brain and you just radiate it... The rt doctor says higher doses of radiation can lead to loss of thinking speed, cognitive ability and analytical ability. Knn... what if I become j00 after the rt how? Haha just kidding la...but it is still kinda scary man. Got some rare cases people go blind and also lose their basic abilities to take care of themselves. The radiated area also includes the pituitary gland, which controls production of important hormones, like testosterone for instance...so if kena damage also damn zzz... if dun feel like penning then how? Damn sian la thinking of all these...then dunno whether will affect ability to have kids anot. 

The rt doctor keeps bringing up the issue of possible risk of lowering the quality of life vs prolonging survival. He's quite careful and hum...but I guess he should be since my case is one of the more complex ones. My onco doctor says its a must to do this rt, coz if brain cancer relapse, i can say gg to life already. I just hope I won't tio so many of the cui side effects. I had to make tis plastic shell that was moulded to my face shape, to ensure that I won't move during the rt...fucking incomfortable sia...summore eyes cannot open knn...dui... oh well, hope you guys enjoy your euro ball trip man... by the time you all get back, I should be done with this shit le.