Musings of a disturbed mind
Ok i'm not exactly "disturbed". I've just been rather thrust into thinking about the whole "is she the one for me" question after koo's huge meeting with r3nz, and this latest post about thai girl not to mention the constant mention about koochigami.
i'm not saying that i'm having doubts about my relationship at the moment cos only last night i spoke to my gf about this issue. and i realise (at least on my part ah) that it is very possible for your dream girl to NOT be the girl who's meant to be with you or to put it another way, the girl YOU are meant to be with...and life goes on...smoothly!! cos lets face it....aditi was my dream girl. 6-7 years of waiting, seeing her go out with other guys and yet keep me as a close friend etc.......of looking on at other girls and realising i could never feel that way about them........she clearly was my dream girl. but then after meeting L, i felt felt something for her which eventually grew on me and i guess i could 'move on' so to speak and carry on with life with L bla bla bla.....i'm happy where i am and i KNOW (don't question me on this....) that i'm meant to be L, the ties are too strong to be cut now unless something drastic happens, but aditi still remains the dream girl of mine from sec school, JC and dare i say up til my early uni days. she'll never cease to be that...though of course now, the impact she has on my life is of course reduced drastically...but the fact stays the same. and surprisingly enough...and REASSURINGLY enough...L accepts that she's not my dream girl but the simply the girl i'm meant to be with.
(the reason i say surprising is cos i mean don't we all wanna be THE ONE for our partners? the one, the dream catch bla bla...and to admit that we'll never be that dream spouse etc takes alot of courage and a sense of certainty and confidence in yourself and in the relationship)
i guess my point is that (and i'm not saying this is true or i'm definitely certain of this) maybe r3nz is your dream girl and you'll always have this lil fiascos where you get 1001 conflicting signs from her and then she leaves you gasping for more and your brain is all fogged up by her. but pple like thai girl or maybe even someone else in the future who may connect with you amazingly well may turn up and there COULD be some signs that that person is the one you're meant to be with and r3nz remains this dream girl...amazing soulful connection and all.
on a separate note, i feel that no matter how hard we try and force things to go the way we want, things are just gonna happen as they will (i.e. FATE, destiny whatever you wanna call it) and sometimes if we wish too hard on sth, the disappointment is even greater when what happens is not what we want. i feel this personally because before L you guys knew i had a gf for the long long period of 1 month and that was a relationship i went searching for...like literally going around seeing who i could date and thinking that i could find a long term gal...whereas with L...it just happened when i was least looking for it and before i even knew it everything just surprised me. so it just got me to realise that its better to let things happen rather than force it to happen.
i'm not saying sit on your ass and a girl will fall in your lap no no.....but i think you should be able to understand what i'm getting at. i dunno if this post is rather cryptic or terribly messy but yea...i had no idea what to post and i realise that ever since koo's big hullabaloo over r3nz arrival, i've been thinking about the past and just felt i should share.
i'm not saying that i'm having doubts about my relationship at the moment cos only last night i spoke to my gf about this issue. and i realise (at least on my part ah) that it is very possible for your dream girl to NOT be the girl who's meant to be with you or to put it another way, the girl YOU are meant to be with...and life goes on...smoothly!! cos lets face it....aditi was my dream girl. 6-7 years of waiting, seeing her go out with other guys and yet keep me as a close friend etc.......of looking on at other girls and realising i could never feel that way about them........she clearly was my dream girl. but then after meeting L, i felt felt something for her which eventually grew on me and i guess i could 'move on' so to speak and carry on with life with L bla bla bla.....i'm happy where i am and i KNOW (don't question me on this....) that i'm meant to be L, the ties are too strong to be cut now unless something drastic happens, but aditi still remains the dream girl of mine from sec school, JC and dare i say up til my early uni days. she'll never cease to be that...though of course now, the impact she has on my life is of course reduced drastically...but the fact stays the same. and surprisingly enough...and REASSURINGLY enough...L accepts that she's not my dream girl but the simply the girl i'm meant to be with.
(the reason i say surprising is cos i mean don't we all wanna be THE ONE for our partners? the one, the dream catch bla bla...and to admit that we'll never be that dream spouse etc takes alot of courage and a sense of certainty and confidence in yourself and in the relationship)
i guess my point is that (and i'm not saying this is true or i'm definitely certain of this) maybe r3nz is your dream girl and you'll always have this lil fiascos where you get 1001 conflicting signs from her and then she leaves you gasping for more and your brain is all fogged up by her. but pple like thai girl or maybe even someone else in the future who may connect with you amazingly well may turn up and there COULD be some signs that that person is the one you're meant to be with and r3nz remains this dream girl...amazing soulful connection and all.
on a separate note, i feel that no matter how hard we try and force things to go the way we want, things are just gonna happen as they will (i.e. FATE, destiny whatever you wanna call it) and sometimes if we wish too hard on sth, the disappointment is even greater when what happens is not what we want. i feel this personally because before L you guys knew i had a gf for the long long period of 1 month and that was a relationship i went searching for...like literally going around seeing who i could date and thinking that i could find a long term gal...whereas with L...it just happened when i was least looking for it and before i even knew it everything just surprised me. so it just got me to realise that its better to let things happen rather than force it to happen.
i'm not saying sit on your ass and a girl will fall in your lap no no.....but i think you should be able to understand what i'm getting at. i dunno if this post is rather cryptic or terribly messy but yea...i had no idea what to post and i realise that ever since koo's big hullabaloo over r3nz arrival, i've been thinking about the past and just felt i should share.
posted by Emothil @ 5:39 PM
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