Anthony's Saga, Part III

The band of intrepid adventurers stopped under a tree after a long day of traveling, and decided to stop for the night. The sun was hanging languorously near the edge of the mountains of the Beast, eager to offer the sickle moon its place in the skies. Everywhere was awash with the bronze tinge of evening.

“Wah! Damn shag!” cried Anthony, throwing himself onto the soft grassy ground beside under a huge shady tree. His armour clanked in a raucous din as he collapsed under the weight, much to the chagrin of his fellow adventurers.

“Uh oh. We’re out of rations and food,” warned Jinx, after a cursory inspection of their packs.

“No worries!” exclaimed Enddy, wiggling his fingers about excitedly. “I have a new spell I want to try. I’ll get our tummies filled in no time! Conjuros Tzecharis Summones!”

Suddenly, huge serving platters materialized from thin air, and like a bad stop-motion video, mounds of food miraculously appeared. The rich and fragrant smells from the sustenance made mouths water eagerly. Without formality, the three pounced on the food like hungry wolves.

“Eh,” remarked Anthony in between bites. “Why this chicken red colour one? And tastes like prawn also?”

“Ooh… That’s my favourite. It’s called har-”

CLOP. CLOP. CLOP.

The three would-be princess-savers were interrupted by the approaching sounds of hoofsteps. In the dim light of the evening sun, a faint figure was made out. He was armoured in impressive white armour, and looked magnificent and regal on a white charger. Bright-eyed and fair of face, he was followed by two other hardy-looking men on their own steeds.

“Wah! Damn posh!” thought the three friends to themselves.

“Good evening gentlemen,” greeted the gallant newcomer. “We are unfortunately, lost. Could you please direct us to the lair of the Beast? We are on our way to save the Princess Pattie.”

“Lost? Balls!” thought Anthony agitatedly. “If they reach the Beast’s lair first, I can’t save Princess Pattie!”

Jinx replied, “Erm, actually we are also on our way to-“

“Uh! The lair of the Beast is that way!” interjected Anthony hurriedly, pointing down south towards the Swamp of No Return.

“Ah thank you, kind sir. Sook Chang, Mik, let’s go!” said the posh-looking man on the white horse. And that was the last they ever saw of the three lost adventurers.

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Night fell. The sickle moon arose overhead, flanked by a firmament of winking stars that mirrored Enddy’s own robe. The forest gave way to a hundred haunting cries that echoed through the trees. Anthony, Jinx and Enddy huddled close to their little campfire, gripping their weapons closer to them.

“RRRAAAGGGHHH!!!”

Their slumber suddenly pierced by the eerie growl, Jinx and Enddy sprang to their feet, eyes bleary and hair disheveled. Anthony slept on, oblivious. Jinx prodded Anthony with a foot. “Wake up Anthony!”

“Uh. Huh? Wha? What?”

From the shadows, several reptilian creatures skulked. A downward-slash by a huge axe was expertly parried by Jinx’s rapier, narrowly missing Anthony’s skull.

“Eh! Help me up leh!” cried Anthony. That fool had opted to sleep in his platemail, and now had problems getting up. He rocked back and forth like an upturned turtle, and the sounds of creaking metal formed its own iron symphony that mingled with the sounds of clashing weapons.

Jinx continued his dance of death with his rapier. Monstrous draconic forms, humanoid in shape but grossly muscular and unbelievably ferocious, swung huge axes that promised to decapitate their victims.

“Conjuros Twa Fireball!” cried Enddy, as he tossed a massive fireball in the direction of the monsters. However, this barely halted their assailants’ advance.

Suddenly, from the bushes, a throwing axe spun like a mad Ferris Wheel, and buried itself in the head of one of the Draconics. A dimunitive figure emerged from the bushes, and wielding its own huge axe (which was twice it size), swung it around in a mad frenzy that sent the Draconics stumbling backwards. The retreating monsters tripped over the prone Anthony, and collapsed onto the ground, unconscious. The axe fiend leapt onto them, and with a few quick strokes, hacked the monsters into little pieces.

Wide-eyed and still shaken, the three adventurers stared at their saviour. It was a dwarf, shaggy-looking and with a bad skin condition.

“Thank you, friend dwarf. I am Jinx, and this is Enddy. The guy on the floor is Anthony. You are…?”

“Ay! My name is Kull the Scabby!” said the dwarf, who shook their hands, and proceeded to narrate how he chanced upon them. “I was peeing in the bushes over there when I heard the monsters cry out. I came over to investigate, and saw ye guys in trouble. I am not one to shy from a fight hahahaha!”

“Erm… You mean you haven’t washed your hands since you peed? And then you shook our hands?” inquired a decidedly-distressed Enddy.

“Yeah! You mean, people wash their hands after peeing?”

“Oh!” said Anthony, finally managing to get to his feet. “I like your helmet,” he said, pointing to the shaggy dark fur helm on the dwarf’s head.

“Hahahaha! Kull the Scabby doesn’t wear a helmet! This is my hair! But it protects me like a good helmet does!” Saying that, he rapped his knuckles on his hair/helm, which obscured a great part of his eyes and ears, and produced a metallic sound when knocked.

“Erm okaay. We could use your help to save someone, Kull. Would you join us?” asked Jinx.

“Hahaha! Why not?! I live for excitement!” cried Kull.

And so, that was how the dwarf – Kull the Scabby – joined the adventurers.